SantaBanta Jokes
3:31 AM
Santa Banta Jokes why are the others running?
Santa Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. He asks a bystander why all of the guys were running.The man answers: "They're all running in the marathon race."Santa Singh: "What do they get from that?"The man : "The winner will get a prize!"Santa Singh: "Then why are the others running?"
Ouch...
Santa and Banta landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Santa yelled: 'Banta! I lost me finger!''Have you now?' says Banta. 'And how did you do it?''I just touched this big spinning thing here like this...Damn! There goes another one!'
Santa gets paper
How did Santa Singh take a copy of white Paper?He took a photocopy of it.
Anniversary...
It was Santa Singh's wedding anniversary.'Shall we have tandoori chicken to celebrate the Occasion?' Mrs.Santa Singh said.'Why take it out on the poor chicken for a mistake we did' replied Santa Singh.
Singing the wrong way?
Once Santa and Banta were singing sitting on a tree. Suddenly Santa started singing by sitting upside down.Banta asked Santa, 'why are you sitting upside down and singing?' Santa replied, 'friend have some common sense, the 'A' side is over and I am now singing the 'B' side.'
santa Banta''s boasting ...
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'Banta singh : 'Yes, I have'Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.' Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'
banta in not afread of Lion..
Santa and Banta are in the Jungle, on a call of nature. They are sitting close to each other, when all of a sudden a Lion appears, and lets go the most terrifying growlSanta:(Petrified) "Banta tenu daar to nahin lag raha?"Banta:"Nahin yaar"Santa:"taan phir apni bund dho na, mere kyon dho raya hai"(Why are you washing my bums if you're not afraid)
How santa got ferarri.
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferrari.Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr. Singh. take anything" Banta is quite excited and asks"tu ke keeta Santa "Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car) Banta: Changa keeta - kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes)
banta Haans kyon raha tha..
A man walking down the street comes across two Sardars, in the midst of a fight. One Sardar seems to have the upper hand. He is sitting on the other Sardar's belly, and with each punch he lands shouts "Chaddu ga nahin Banta Singh". The Sardar at the receiving end crys a bit and then laughs a lot.Bystander: "Bhai Sahib ro khon rahey ho"Sardar: "Dard ho rahi hai"Bystander: "Phir Haans kyon rahey ho" ? Sardar: "Mera naam Banta Singh Nahin hai"
Advantages of breast milk..
A question had appeared in an examination which read, "Give four advantages of breast milk?"Banta Singh began to answer the question.1. No need to boil 2. Cats can't steal them 3. Available whenever necessary But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes for the exam to close the much required fourth point flashed to his mind.So he completed the answer by writing4. Available in attractive containers.
Banta Will not be illiterate now
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?""Yes, of Course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."
Santa Singh in Court
Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." Santa immediately responded, "Thank you , your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Sun closer than..
Banta Singh goes for an interview for the post of Lecturer in Astronomy.The interviewer asks him "President Zail Singh is of the view that Sun is closer to India than America, Why ?". Banta replies... "very easy, because we can see sun but not America"
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the hell's going' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
Banta Will not be illiterate now
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?""Yes, of Course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."
Urine Test
One day, Banta goes to the clinic, and he finds his friend Santa crying.Banta: Santa, Why are you crying?Santa: The doctors are going to take my blood test by cutting my finger.After hearing this Banta also starts crying.Santa: Banta, why are you crying?Banta: I'm here for urine test!
Cross the tracks
Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"Man Replies 12.30."When will Deccan Queen go from here?"Man Replies 11.30."When will Punjab Express go from here?"Man Replies 10.30.Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains.Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"
VIBRATION mode
Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.Doc: wht happened?Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai
One more
Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.Banta : Dont worry, I have a one more.